Six years

This weekend, my first born, Ava, turns six. I have to shake my head in wonder that this spirited, clever, chatty, exuberant little being has been with us for ONLY six years. I feel like time spent with Ava should be measured in dog years. She packs a lot of living into her days, if you know what I mean!

Anyhow, I find myself getting all nostalgic and sentimental as I look at her now. Gone are the traces of that chubby-cheeked cherub. She's a BIG GIRL now!! She's getting taller (as tall as can be expected considering half her genetic makeup comes from my side of the family), smarter, bolder, faster...you get the idea. She's growing up in the blink of an eye and I'm trying to embrace that. I'm not going to lie. It's hard- much harder than I thought it would be. This child of mine challenges me in ways I never thought possible. She came without a manual nor any set of instructions. I have to learn as I go and it's probably the most challenging thing I have ever done in my life. Challenging and rewarding.

Ava initiated me into motherhood. What a gift that has been.

So this weekend as we celebrate her special day, I will stand a few steps back and give her "space" as she socializes with her friends, unwraps gifts, blows out her candles. But I will make sure I sneak into her bedroom when the day is over and she's sound asleep. I will look at her tousled, sleepy body and I will see a shadow of the baby she used to be and that is still hiding there under that big girl talk and attitude. She will always be my baby!!